May: Book of The Month Review
What My Bones Know by Stephanie Foo
DISCLAIMER: This blog post may contain affiliate links, which I may make a small commission from any sales or links viewers click. These commissions help keep this blog running at no extra cost to you, thank you.
“The trauma and abuse I have endured in my own life were pulled to the forefront of my mind while reading”
What My Bones Know is a profoundly moving, original memoir by Stephanie Foo. For anyone dealing with devastating trauma and wondering how to cope, this piece is a must-have for your personal library. It tackles the nuisances of the model minority theory, the profound effects of generational trauma, and the disparity between C-PTSD and PTSD. Foo was a successful radio producer on the critically acclaimed radio program and podcast This American LIfe, when her panic attacks and emotional instability became increasingly problematic. In the end, you will find that it is possible to heal after continuous trauma and create the life you want. “You have complex PTSD from your childhood, and it manifests as persistent depression and anxiety.”
Readers will follow Foo’s journey as an abused child, to abandoned teenager, and then struggling journalist as she tries to understand how her trauma has shaped her identity and influenced her life. The terrifying child abuse and callous abandonment by both parents led to her developing a fear of abandonment, anger problems, and an anxiety disorder. These problems caused her to seek help from a mental health therapist in college. It was through this therapist that she discovered the reason behind her mental turmoil and behavioral problems - it was Complex PTSD. The distinction between C-PTSD and PTSD is that the latter is formed from “one foundational traumatic moment,” while complex PTSD is formed from a plethora of traumatic moments. The whippings from Foo’s mother, the times her father threatened to crash their car, the cruel criticisms, and the abandonments of both parents all are all distinctly narrated to give credence to her trauma.“The difference between regular PTSD and complex PTSD is that traditional PTSD is often associated with a moment of trauma. Sufferers of complex PTSD have undergone continual abuse - trauma that has occurred over a long period of time.”
After her diagnosis, Foo became determined to find a solution to C-PTSD. This was a monumental task due to the fact that, “Learning about C-PTSD is not easy because it doesn’t officially exist,” at least not in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM). There are several chapters detailing information from psychology books, interviews with experts and psychologists, and depictions of the various treatments she tried in search of the answer. In her home country of Malaysia, she also discovered new insights about her family that helped her understand intergenerational trauma. All of these efforts led to her discovering the secrets of healing from that trauma.“The infinite plethora of triggers makes complex PTSD more difficult to heal from than traditional PTSD”
Foo has achieved what most literature on mental health has failed to do - create a relatable, interesting, and accurate portrayal of psychological issues. She has created a genuinely unique way of sharing a complex subject with her humorous and uninhibited writing style, mixed with excellent storytelling. The book’s relatability is also what captures the reader’s attention and keeps it from devolving into a boring psychological exposition on mental health. Her no holds barred attitude produces wickedly funny lines like, “Lady, I’ve been seeing you for a fucking decade, yes I want to know my goddamn diagnosis.” It’s hard not to get swept up in a story filled with captivating dialogue of painful memories.
For myself, this book has ended up becoming a deeply personal and relatable self-reflection of how abuse and trauma shapes a person. While not a victim of childhood abuse, the trauma and abuse I have endured in my own life were pulled to the forefront of my mind while reading. The doubts, anger, over-working, and perfectionism that Foo describes were also what I dealt with in the midst of my own C-PTSD. Much like Foo, it took longer than it should have to discover that Complex PTSD existed. I would have benefited from this book a long time ago in trying to understand the complex feelings and reactions caused by trauma. “This book has a happy ending.”
In conclusion, Foo weaved her life into the most relatable and factual account of what living with complex PTSD is like. Her dissections and thought-provoking revelations lay bare the truth of the “model minority” and intergenerational immigrant trauma. This is a must-read for anyone who has dealt with any kind of long-lasting trauma or abuse. It provides assurances that there can be a resolution despite the haunting effects of PTSD. This is what Foo promises in the beginning with her Author’s Note, “I’d like to promise you this, even if it is a bit of a spoiler: This book has a happy ending.” If you liked this selection, then perhaps you would be interested in more books recommend by The Feminist Book Club. By entering the code READMOREWOMEN you can get 15% off your first subscription order from The Feminist Book Club. They sent me this copy of What My Bones Know as part of my subscription. Each month they will send you a new book of feminist literature. More importantly, a portion of sales from their subscriptions are donated to a different organization each month, such as - Native Women’s Wilderness, Safe BAE, and Rights4Girls. Click here to check out their blog, sign up for a subscription of tantalizing books, or listen to their podcast!
