How I Achieved a Soft Life
At this point, most of you have probably seen the #softlife trend taking over social media in the past year or so. Without being aware I had already started implementing this idea into my life. In fact, I think we all get to a point in our lives where we decide to live a less demanding lifestyle, so it’s something many of us can relate to.
The phrase is quite vague in meaning and simultaneously self-explanatory, so it has taken on several different meanings. Let’s break down what it means and how I implement the #softlife into my own routines.
It’s usually difficult to find out how a social media trend begins, but with this one I can tell you exactly where it comes from. The #softlife originated in the Nigerian influencer community where its ubiquitous influence made its way all over the world and into other cultures and people of all genders and social statuses.
So what does it mean exactly to live a #softlife? It does not necessarily mean taking lavishly expensive trips abroad or posting selfies eating caviar and chilling on the side of an infinity pool, but you can if you want. If you submit to the Nigerian community’s interpretation, it means to submit to a more comfortable, low stress, and relaxing lifestyle as opposed to the high-gear-no-eat-no sleep lifestyle that speeds many of us towards a trainwreck of burnout. Essentially, slow that train down a bit and enjoy life more.
I’ve implemented features of a #softlife into my own routine because I used to be that person on the fast moving train. In ways I still am. As a high-strung, neurotic perfectionist, it is hard to completely turn off that side of me. However, I saw what happens when you don’t make time for yourself and release stress every now and then.
At the end of my first year of college (yes, only my first year) one of my professors came to me and said I looked burnt-out, unhappy, and about to unravel. This was a surprise to me because I honestly hadn’t felt any of those things. That was because I was so focused on everything I had to do - homework, final projects, family responsibilities, and piano - that I hadn’t taken the time to even think about how I felt internally.
By midterms of my sophomore year, I found myself in the hospital. If we don’t release stress it can actually lead to developing serious health issues.
After that experience I decided to take a step back from a huge chunk of my stressors and enjoy life more. Here are a few things I do daily, weekly, and monthly to relieve stress and live a #softlife. In my opinion, you do not need a healthy budget to have a #softlife, it really just involves a change in mentality and habits.
1). Take It Slow in the Morning
First things first, it’s important to start the day off right. No, this does not mean turn your alarm off and keep sleeping. Just take things a bit slower in the mornings. Take your time getting out of bed. Sip on a cup of coffee or tea. Do some stretching or yoga. Read your Bible. Slowing down our routine allows us to get ready for the day more efficiently and reminds us to not start the day off in a mad, half-sleep rush. Also, don’t pick up your phone right away. It is not rude to keep the world waiting before you reply to their texts. It’ll be right there waiting when you’ve gotten yourself ready to tackle the day ahead.
2). Stay Active
I love finding new ways to be active. Whether its trying a barre class, learning to belly dance, going to yoga classes, or just going for a ten minute run, these activities keep me in the right state of mind. Exercising is a great way to release stress. Whenever I’ve had a stressful week or built up tension, I go for a run until I can feel the stress fall away. If you’re not into running then even a brisk walk will do.
3). Treat Yo’ Self
This is my favorite one. Every month I book a 30 minute massage, a nail appt, and maybe a facial if the budget allows. I got a massage for the first time a few months ago, and I never imagined how addictive it would become. It helped me to realize how much tension and stress I hold onto. Making space in your busy schedule to do something you enjoy is so important that I challenge you to treat it like a doctor’s appointment. We all need time to ourselves even if it is just 30 mins to an hour. Taking care of yourself and appearance is a sign of good mental health!
4). Build Boundaries and Learn to Say No
Learning a new skill or habit takes time and practice. This is one habit that is essential in order to achieve your #softlife. It also requires us to be a little bit “mean.” If you’re an empath like me, then you know it’s hard to put yourself over others. Sometimes we say yes to too many engagements, projects, or too many people because we think they absolutely need us. Not true, there’s 365 days in the year and 7 billion other people in the world, they’ll be ok without you once in a while as you go take care of yourself. You may miss out on some experiences, but there will be more to come your way that’s for sure. If it robs you of even a little bit of your peace or if your heart just isn’t in it, then it's not worth your time and energy. Replace that time and energy with something you’d love doing instead.
5). Create a Schedule and Stick to it
Giving yourself a strict, but flexible schedule helps a lot with creating boundaries. It can really help you manage time with others when you have your calendar blocked out with specific time for yourself. For example, if someone asks me out on a Friday night, I have no problem asking for a rain check because Friday’s are my rest day no matter what. Make sure to plan all your self-care days a month or so in advance, before you plan anything else.
6). Take Yourself on Dates
Make things even more fun and exciting by going on solo dates. Doing things alone builds confidence and self-assurance. Plus, if you take yourself to the movies you don’t have to argue with anyone about which movie to watch. While eating out at an upscale restaurant with friends one night I saw this woman come in dressed to the nines and be seated at a table by herself. She looked so content and peaceful, enjoying dinner by herself. It can be daunting the first time if you’re not used to being out alone, but it’s worth it!
Those are my six habits that help me achieve a #softlife. I’m sure most of you can relate to needing more time for yourself. It can be so much fun and help you reset to be your best self at the end of the day!
Keep Loving, Keep Reading, and Keep Drinking Those Lattes!
Xoxo - Erica
