10 Life Lessons My Mother Taught Me

For most of you, October 8th is just an ordinary day with no special significance.  For me, it is a very special day that I mark on my calendar every year because… it is my Mom’s birthday!  Although she is no longer here with us to celebrate the day,  I was wondering what I could do to remember her today. On the way to work this morning the lightbulb went off!  I’m always reminded of the things my mom taught me over the years from her vast ocean of knowledge and wisdom, so I decided to share some of the things that I soaked up from her.  

Here are 10 things my mother taught me…

1).  Don’t Lose Yourself in Grief

This may seem odd, but one of the MAJOR things I remember my mom teaching me was about what happened to a friend of hers who became so overwhelmed with grief after her mother passed.  My mom told me this story years before she ever became ill with cancer.  At the time I didn’t realize why she was telling me this, but now I do.  We all know that our parents don’t live forever, and even I would never have imagined losing my mom to cancer at 19.  When it did happen, I immediately remembered that story.  I had to fight the urge to just forget about everything I cared for and make myself sick with grief.  I’m so glad I did because I was able to ride that momentum from grief to finish high school, go to college, and enjoy the independence that comes from entering your 20’s. 

2). You Can Be the Tallest, Most Confident Person in the Room if You Believe It

I’ve always been the shortest person in a room (unless it was a room full of 5 yr olds), standing at 4’10.” My mom knew how much it irked me being short and having people always comment on it.  One day she told me I could make myself taller.  I looked at her like “yeah right.” She told me all you have to do is adjust your posture, hold your head up high, and walk around like you are the tallest person in the room.  I was a bit disappointed to find out I wouldn’t actually grow a few more inches by doing this.  However, I can say her advice works because my mom was only 5’3”, but I could’ve sworn she was at least 5’6”.  I’m sorry to all my fellow shorties that you can’t add a few more inches, but doing this will make you more confident and commanding in a room. 

3).  Have Faith and Joy Even in the Storm

I will admit I still struggle with this one, but I’ve seen the power of faith and joy.  Ask anyone that knew my mom, and they will tell you she was filled with joy all the time.  At her chemo treatments, her nickname was “the butterfly” because she would get up, and walk around the room making the other patients or nurses laugh.  How many people do you know could do that while getting treated with strong chemicals and drugs?  Having a good attitude and hope, even when you don’t feel like it, is a lot more beneficial to you and everyone around you.  

4). Listen to God

Another one I struggle with, but have gotten better at, is listening to God when he’s reaching out to me. Raising 4 kids could hectic at times and leave little time for my mom to talk to God.  I laugh just thinking about this.  When my mom wanted time from us to be in silence and spend time with God, her favorite place was the bathroom!  I couldn’t understand why she would be in the bathroom so early in the morning in complete silence.  Now I know being in silence and meditating is detrimental to hearing God clearer.  

5).  Explore and Experience the World

Make it stand out

Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference.

I got my love of traveling from my Mom.  I was inspired to see other parts of the world and interact with other cultures after hearing my mom’s thrilling stories of living in other states and the awesome vacations she went on when she was younger.  We had several adventures together in Central America and Europe that taught me so much more about the world.

6).  You Can Do Anything If You Put Your Mind to It

This was something she preached to me my entire life.  Sometimes I needed that reminder to give myself a push to do whatever I might have been afraid to do.  It is something I tell myself today.  Anytime I said something was impossible or too hard, my mom would show me that it was possible as long as you dedicated your efforts to it and believed you could do it.  I carried this mantra with me when I had to write a 10-page history paper with a full bibliography and sources in one night.  It seemed impossible but ya girl stayed up all night to get that A.

7). Communication Skills

My mom was definitely a chatty Kathy who could get anyone’s life story in under 5 minutes.  I am definitely the opposite and prefer not to socialize with random people in the grocery store.  However, I’ve found that after being around my mom I have acquired the ability to easily conversate with pretty much anyone.  I’ve found this to be a very useful skill for just about any profession and can lead you to having some great people in your circle.

8). Be passionate about everything you do 

Being passionate and giving 100% to anything you do will definitely take you places.  I’m a natural perfectionist, but watching my mom take on any job, occupation, or activity with such passion gave “perfectionism” a whole other meaning.  It goes without saying that being passionate about what you do will produce high quality results and open doors you never imagined

9).  How to Have Class and Grace

I’ve been told many times another word for class is “bougie.”  Let’s say I definitely got my bouginess from my mom.  In other words I definitely inherited many of her mannerisms, style, and sophistication. I used to be so self-conscious and slightly embarrassed about being labeled that way.  However, that changed when people would come up to me after a recital and compliment the class and gracefulness I brought to a stage.  The definition of class is “ showing stylish excellence” or in other words being first-rate, marvelous, or wonderful! That is definitely how I would have described my mom.

10).  Think Deeply and Critically

Recently, after looking at the people I surround myself with I realized that deep conversations are a must-have for me.  I’m always digging deeper into things and I have my mom to thank for that.  Even now I realize I can’t date or be close friends with someone who I can’t have deep, thoughtful conversations or debate with.  This shows more depth in a person and that you know how to think for yourself which is so important in this advanced, “cancel-culture”, “follow-the-mass” society. 

I know this was a lot of info to divulge, and I promise this was only scratching the surface of the things my mom taught me.  I’m sure many of you can relate to how much your mothers teach you.  There’s so much they teach that it is hard to remember everything, but I have to say these were the top 10 most important things that stuck with me.  

Oh! And Happy Birthday Ma!